30 Something Life: I’ve got new rules, I count ’em

One, don’t stay with someone that doesn’t tell you they love them. Yep, you heard right! Fool on me for staying with him for 3 years and never hearing those words.

Two, don’t be with someone that doesn’t prioritise you. I would have done anything and did do anything and everything to put him first. I don’t remember a single time when he did the same for me. He never surprised me with something thoughtful or arranged a special date night. Absolutely nothing. His priorities were either playing sport or watching sport. I would say I ranked pretty low on his list. I never felt like the same effort was being returned for all the effort I put in.

Three, don’t be with someone that isn’t prepared to support you through tough times or fight to be with you. This was a tough one. I had started the first term as an NQT (the toughest term in your teaching career btw) and just moved in with him. Apparently he didn’t realise how much work I would be bringing home and how stressed I would be and he didn’t want to live like that. I can honestly say that was such a disappointment after I had supported him through addiction and money problems without a second thought. The one time I actually needed support back, he ran away. I guess it is best I found out now and not further down the line. What’s so frustrated and cruel is that things at work were becoming much less stressful and I was bringing home less work. He didn’t wait long enough or try to fix things when they were fixable entities.

 

I’ve got new rules, I count ’em
I’ve gotta tell them to myself!

Now that this has become clear in my head, I am able to see that I won’t settle for anything less than what I truly deserve. I deserve love and happiness. I will not be letting anyone into my life that doesn’t quite meet the mark. I have had my share of bad relationships. I have had to support someone with drug addiction, gambling addiction and as a result been subjected to emotional and financial abuse and that is not good enough.

What is fantastic is that I no longer have to answer to any man. I no longer have to consider someone else in my future planning right now. I don’t have to worry that my partner doesn’t have money to go for a weekend away or treat me to nice things. I am financially able to support myself and allow myself luxuries including travelling with my son and treating ourselves to nice things. I am in the best position I have been in for a long time. I am finally putting myself first (and my son, obviously). I am able to do all the things I have been itching to do, such as visit new places, go for long walks, play badminton, learn new skills and write. I am discovering who I am. That’s the best position I can be in.

That 30 something singleton X